Just Talking 'Bout My Body

         I think there was one thing in particular I learned from both the readings and the TED talks we watched in and out of class that I wanted to apply in my fireside chat. It felt like there was a careful balance between structure and improve. Too much structure and your ideas seem too insincere. Too little structure and your thoughts turn incoherent and you start to babble. I think it is really important to allow room for yourself to express ideas in the moment. For a lot of the TED talks I’ve seen, it seems like the better ones will give time for themselves room for inspiration, which gives their ideas seem more genuine, like they actually want to help.

            One of my favorite comedians is Demetri Martin. I think I like him so much because he taught me two things. One, he is really good at self expression. I’ve never seen a comedian so dedicated to the person he really is. I feel like so much of the time we see comedians who take up a character or make themselves up to be crazy to get more laughs. Demetri Martin tells some hilarious jokes that also just exonerate his personality. Two, Demetri is really good at not creating enemies or making people the butt of a joke. He just says and does things that are funny. I really wanted to apply both of these things into my fireside chat. I wanted to talk about something serious that also incorporated the type of person I am. I talked about my body image and anxiety issues, but I threw in some jokes and I really hope people could see who I was through both my subject matter, and the way I presented it. I also didn’t want to talk about something that would demonize others for doing something wrong, so I tried to make it about my personal issues and ideas on self expression.

            My statement was supposed to be that I am ok with the person I am, and you can be too. I tried to relate my personal journey to becoming a more stable person. I wanted others to know my path, so they could make their own if need be. My path, I feel, was through self expression, and even doing the fireside chat, though it was nerve racking, was really good for me. Every time I take myself out of my comfort zone, I come a little closer to loving myself. That was the point of my discussion, and I know that it helped me.

Courtney Kendrick

The readings this past week talked a lot about how humans interact with other humans. It focused specifically on human rights but it also discussed what one group of people thought about another group of people. This goes well with the direction our documentary took. We decided to interview Courtney Kendrick. She currently works in the Provo City mayor’s office as a creative director. She works closely with a lot of the departments in the city and tries to help support the arts and major creativity aspects of the city. She also helps to plan and execute the rooftop concert series every year. She is very involved with the music scene here and local artists.

            In the documentary, Courtney talks about the problems she sees around the city, and then about ways she has worked to remedy them. She says a lot of the problems in our community have to do, at their core, with Provo being a very non-diverse city. A lot of the people have the exact same upbringing and background, so people don’t work to make necessary changes to support those who are oppressed. Courtney works specifically to help women and those in minority groups to have a stronger voice in local politics and in business settings.

          Courtney's attention to Provo's lack of diversity is really important for our community. She is one of many women in communities throughout the world striving to make change in regards to representation of women and people of color in politics, media, and the workforce. As Media Arts students, we should look to what she is doing and see how we can apply the same thoughtful, respectful, and diligent work into our own field. In December of last year, American actress Jessica Chastain wrote an essay about the production she was currently working on, The Zookeeper's Wife, directed by the female filmmaker Niki Caro. She says "I can't tell you-- it's amazing. I've never been on a set with so many women. We're not even 50 percent of the crew- we're probably something like 20 percent women and 80 percent men-- but it's way more than I've ever worked with before. Thee are female producers, a female screenwriter, a female novelist, a female protagonist and a female director." Chastain talks about how she strives to add to diversity in Hollywood, and acknowledges that while you want to work with people based on talent, some talented people have a much bigger hill to climb. 

          And that's true here in Provo. As humans, we find comfort in the familiar. It's difficult to be surrounded by people with a different set of values and beliefs, we naturally homogenize. However by doing that, we are missing out on a world of growth and peace. So when Courtney talks about making Provo a safe zone for the 2% that don't fit into the white/LDS category, she is talking about making Provo better. And that might go against a lot of people's views, but that's part of being a concerned citizen- considering views that aren't your own, and working to make your community a place that isn't just about you. 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xstn7l1AIz8&feature=youtu.be

Step In to My Brain

I was really inspired by the depression game for this assignment. I really enjoy the ability to immerse someone into a world, which is why I love video games in the first place. I was really interested in the way the depression game helped the player to understand what it is like to have a mental illness. I wanted to make a game that did something similar. I think mental illness is something people have a really hard time understanding. Eventually I decided to make a game about social anxiety. This is something I struggle with a lot, so I thought I would be able to design the game in a much more productive way.

At first, I thought this one would be too similar to the depression game so I decided to isolate my game to being at a party. This would help me to design the game in a more relatable way. Everyone has been around a “weird” kid at the party, and I wanted to make a game that helps other people understand why that person won’t talk to them or seems unfriendly. The game puts the player into the shoes of someone with anxiety to help them get that these people need some kind of validation. They need to know they are loved and wanted. My game’s aesthetic is just black and white, with a simple sans serif font. It shows the bland feeling one gets at social events. The game also gets progressively more pessimistic as it progresses. I also purposely made only two options on every section. With anxiety, it feels like options are very limited, and that's what I want the player to feel.

According to the social anxiety institute, social anxiety has a lot to do with a fear of being judgment. Social anxiety makes a person believe other people don’t really want to be around them. They have an irrational fear that people are always judging they way they do just about everything to the point they don’t want to be anywhere near other people. According to the Social Anxiety Association people have the perception that people are withdrawn or unfriendly. This perception becomes even less helpful because then the person with social anxiety assumes other people don’t want to be around them. This person’s self esteem is even further impacted.

An article in Measures of Personality and Social Psychological Attitudes written by Mark R. Leary describes a test that is used to show the level of social anxiety one has. I used this test to show when some of the most intense moments of social anxiety come. This includes ability to interact with others, go to social events, and the amount of time wants to stay, or feels welcome at said events.

http://philome.la/TheVanM/sociophobia